For Kids Only

(up to 19 years old)

Descriptions that Do Not Make Your Reader Turn Away from Your Story!

When you describe something, make sure it sounds interesting and not contrived.

Choose your descriptors carefully
Choose words that everybody understands
Make your description and your story flow

Rewrite the following paragraph to make it a better description.

"I have recently gone on an absolutely extraordinarily exciting trip to the spectacularly high-looming Canadian Rockies.  We rode the fast-speeding, red and blue Mountaineer train through steeply rising and equally steeply falling canyons.  There we saw the most spectacularly diverse wildlife, from salmon-catching black bears to high-in-the-sky soaring Golden Eagles.  In between were huge antler-sporting moose and brown elk and a variety of fast galloping brownish mountain goats and white sheep."